AMP Satire: Americans Flee the US to Claim Refugee Status in the US

by | Dec 8, 2023 | Quick Reads

When the Biden administration assumed power 3 years ago, we, the American people, were promised that things would return to normal, and boy have they. Biden and his administration have brought back all the worst aspects of previous administrations before Trump, such as slow economic growth, proxy wars, high amounts of illegal immigration…. Etc.

Americans are struggling to survive in Biden’s America, especially with the high inflation and low job growth, both of which have made it hard for the average American worker to put food on the table for their family. And while American families continue to suffer under such conditions, illegal immigrants are being allowed to cross the border without consequences. Not only are they crossing the border without consequences, but they are also being provided with free transportation within the country and free means of communication, such as the cellphones provided to them upon their arrival in the US. Americans have taken notice and have expressed outrage over the lack of initiative on their own country’s part to show the same type of care for them as well. 

However, while some Americans express outrage, other Americans see an opportunity to overcome their economic woes. Many struggling Americans are now purchasing plane tickets to Mexico as they are now attempting to cross the border in order to claim refugee status in the hope to flee an authoritarian government that provides little possibility for economic prosperity or freedom. Many of these American refugees are finding success in this endeavor as they are now being taken care of by the government.  

We spoke with one American refugee out by a hotel in New York City who said, “Before I claimed refugee status, I was a hard-working car mechanic working day in and day out back in Ohio. Then one day a buddy of mine told me about this great idea to become a refugee, and I thought ‘sure, what the hell. If you can’t beat them, join them.’ I’m now living the American dream. I live in a nice hotel in New York City, I have a free cell-phone, and now the government seems to care about me, something I never thought possible being a white working-class man back in Ohio. This is the life.”  

This has caused many in the Biden administration to panic as they try to contain this newfound refugee crisis. President Biden spoke on the issue saying “When I took office, I wasn’t expecting that I was actually going to be expected to take care for Americans, but now many Americans are exploiting the system in order to claim refugee status. Now, I just don’t know how we’re going to pay for all this.”  We will continue to report on this refugee crisis as it continues. 

NEXT: The Lost Expedition of Sir John Franklin

AMP America

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