Petersen: The Inevitable Rise of AI-Generated Girlfriends

by | Apr 24, 2024 | Opinion

Weird Science went from a horny 80’s movie to now apparently a feature prognosticating documentary! The future is now, where your dream girl can be programmed in a lab (well, a server farm), and your biggest relationship worry is whether your credit card gets declined because you’ve overspent on virtual roses.

Greg Isenberg, CEO of Late Checkout, recently dropped a bombshell on social media, revealing that a Miami man shells out $10,000 a month on AI-generated girlfriends. Yes, that’s girlfriends, plural. Because why have one expensive, high-maintenance relationship when you can have several that only drain your wallet? Apparently even virtual girlfriends are expensive.

This isn’t just a quirky trend among the tech-savvy and socially awkward. Oh no, it’s the dawn of what could be a billion-dollar industry. Because, let’s face it, in an age where people list “breathing” as a hobby on dating profiles, the bar is low enough to trip over. Sure there are plenty of downsides, but think of the upsides! You can approach her without her calling you a creep. She won’t record your awkward pickup attempts and post them on Tiktok calling you a harasser. AI girlfriends promise to be everything that human relationships are not: predictable, compliant, and best of all, they don’t have parents you have to impress.

These pixelated paramours aren’t just about dodging the pitfalls of modern dating, though. Forget ghosting—these girls won’t even exist in the first place! They offer a fantasy free from rejection, emotional baggage, and the need to ever leave your bedroom. It’s the ultimate solution for those who find real human features—like having their own thoughts and feelings—a bit too much to handle.

The rise of these AI companions is a textbook response from a market that’s watched too much “Black Mirror.” Catering to loneliness with a business model that would make both Cupid and Orwell blush, it’s clear that where there’s demand, there will be supply. In this case, the supply comes in the form of customizable, compliant, and perpetually agreeable digital girlfriends. It’s capitalism meets companionship, and it’s as disturbing as it is impressive. Of course, your AI girlfriend could easily be a fed, spying on you in order to entrap you for your political beliefs but… that’s already a danger with real girls too. As any libertarian knows, any girl who shows interest in you is a fed, and you must cut off all contact with her immediately.

Speaking of the libertarian angle, choosing an AI girlfriend is as much a right as choosing to eat pizza rolls for every meal. Questionable for your health? Maybe. But free choice is what it’s all about. However, even the staunchest libertarians might pause at the societal implications of men opting to invest more in their AI girlfriend than in actual human connections. Where is this all taking us? One positive impact might be that this will bankrupt the OnlyFans girls and force them to get real jobs and stop demeaning themselves for weirdos online.

Are we witnessing an actual evolution of relationships, or is this just another fad, or worse: a symptom of our increasing preference for virtual life over reality? Oh well. Might as well log in—because dating is about to get a major software update, and it seems love is now being served as a user agreement. Just make sure to read her terms and conditions, gents. Will there be pre-nups for virtual weddings with digital girlfriends?

Austin Petersen is a former Libertarian presidential candidate turned Republican and the host of the Wake Up America show every Monday-Friday from 7-9am central which you can stream live on Rumble, or listen to on Spotify or iTunes. He resides in Jefferson City, Missouri with his wife Stephanie and their two presidential French Bulldogs, Calvin and George.

NEXT: Petersen: Javier Milei Stands as a Beacon of Hope for Economic Freedom and Traditional Values

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